February 24, 2006
Money, Sex & Children: How to Avoid Life’s Greatest Battles
Some of life’s greatest battles are over issues such as money, sex and children. While these are issues that elicit passionate responses and feelings, it is possible to deal with these issues without arguing. In fact not only can you avoid battles over these issues, but these issues can also enhance your relationship. Having realistic expectations about these issues can help you to avoid or resolve any conflicts over these issues. Money, sex and children are the source of many problems in a relationship so it’s advisable that you proceed with caution when these subjects arise.
Money can be a tremendous source of tension and disagreements in a relationship. Many couples struggle with financial matters and this perpetual struggle leads to tension in their relationship. One way to alleviate the tensions associated with financial concerns is to make sure both partners are involved in financial matters. If both partners are away of the amount of resources available to them and their monthly expenditures, they will both have a better understanding of where they stand financially. This way if problems arise, neither partner is caught off guard in this situation. It is also important that couples share the financial decision making process especially in regards to large purchases. Sharing in making these decisions will ensure that each partner has the opportunity to voice their opinions or concerns and feels as though they are working as a team with their partner. Conversely, if one partner makes a large purchase without consulting their partner, the relationship may suffer because the partner who was not involved in the decision begins to feel left out and hurt. When a couple shares the financial responsibilities there is less likely to be problems that arise as a result of finances then there are when one of the partners takes sole responsibility for the finances.
Sex can also be a source of trouble in a relationship. Too much sex, not enough sex and sex that is too routine are common complaints in a relationship. Some of these battles may be avoided by scheduling sexual encounters on a regular basis. While it may sound unromantic to do this, the truth is that with work, children and other responsibilities sometimes there just isn’t time for sex unless it is scheduled ahead of time. Scheduling will ensure that the couple engages in physical contact every so often instead of letting this aspect of their relationship take a back seat to other obligations. Boring or routine sex is another common complaint in a relationship. You can keep things interesting by varying your routine every once in awhile and trying new things. You can also avoid problems related to sex in your relationship by discussing your likes and dislikes with your partner and encouraging your partner to be open with you about their likes and dislikes as well. Sex is a healthy and necessary part of a relationship but it can also be a source of conflict in the relationship.
Children are a blessing in a relationship but they can also be a source of many battles in the relationship. The most important issue with children is whether or not a couple is both interested in having children. If only one of the partners desires to have children then introducing children into the relationship can be a recipe for disaster. If you are not both committed to having and raising children then it is best to put off having children until you are both ready to be parents. If children are already a part of the relationship, they can still cause problems. Arguments over disciplinary tactics are very common. The couple may not agree on how to discipline their child and this disagreement can not only be detrimental to the relationship but can also be confusing for the child. To avoid battles over children make sure you and your partner are committed to having children before attempting to conceive and discuss disciplinary tactics and come to an agreement that you will both abide by in dealing with the children.
Money, sex and children are the subjects that couples argue about most often. These volatile subjects can also be a source of great joy when managed correctly but until the couple learns how to do this, they will continue to be explosive issues. The keys to dealing with these issues without starting battles is to tread lightly and not force your opinions, discuss the issues before they arrive and try to make the best of the existing situations without constant complaints.